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Joke of the Day

"Dominique Strauss-Kahn and his wife are separating after 20 years of marriage due to their busy work schedules and him being a maid raper."

"wife: ""he never reacts appropriately, just tell him"" doctor: ""ok, keith we had to remove both your legs"" me: ""where will i keep my car keys"""

"Do you know two places to put water? Well Dam"

"My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating."

"Buddy of mine dropped some acid... Burnt a hole in the floor... He was tripping for days!"

"If Rob Ford was a duck what he would be smoking? Quack"

"Why did the geneticist get into advertising? Sex Cells"

"Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it"

"Ran my first 10K this morning. Just kidding I'm on my third donut."

"I searched for 'wardrobe malfunction' on pornhub and it showed me a video about Narnia"