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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide The librarian says ""fuck off, you won't bring it back"""

"What do you call a Targaryen girl who can outrun her brothers? A virgin."

"So I go to the shops to get some food... This motherfucker behind the counter takes my money. That's thievery."

"Oral B is sponsoring tonight's NASCAR race. That seems like an odd choice for a sponsorship, considering most NASCAR fans don't even have teeth."

"Her: We had the baby! She is 7lbs 3oz, born at 9:08am. We'll be naming her tomorrow. Me: Tomorrow is a terrible name for a baby, tbh."

"What couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was to far outtttttttttt........ Ha weeeeeeed."

"I used to have a pet piglet.... I used to have a pet piglet, watching it discover the world was really interesting at first. But after a few months it became a bit of a boar."

"Thank God for semi colon's. How would I have ever been able to flirt if they didn't exist?"

"Do you think Lil' Wayne went to the tattoo parlor and said ""Make my face look like an 8th grade girls trapper keeper""?"

"Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack!"