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Joke of the Day

"So I go to the shops to get some food... This motherfucker behind the counter takes my money. That's thievery."

"""Toothpaste? You made that word up!"" - Steve Bushemi"

"The doctor comes to a patient Doc: You have cancer and alzheimer. Patient: That's fine, atleast i don't have cancer."

"""Oh, this one? It's an excuse to tell a story about my life that only I think is interesting"" - literally all tattoos"

"Beer commercials tell us we should drink ""responsibly"". So I'm starting a college fund for my kids with all the empty cans."

"What is the name of a taxi service for bears? Ubear."

"I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, ""Please, think of my children!"" Kinky bitch."

"What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus? ""Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!"""

"Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range."

"A solid way to make your waiter's head explode is to order a grilled cheese with no bread."