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Joke of the Day
"A Man walks into a Zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."
Next Joke
"How do you get an iraqi woman pregnant? Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."
"Don't say ""ATM machine"". The ""M"" already stands for ""machine"". It's redundant. It's like saying ""end result"" or ""racist Fox News Anchor""."
"[inventing dialup internet] What should it sound like when it's connecting? [guy in the back stands up confidently] Pterodactyls"
"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes"
"Thank goodness I'm loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can't blame it on the alcohol."
"Excuse me Ladies, but my eyes are up here."
"The bartender says ""We don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."
"Two flies are sitting on a steaming pile of horse manure. One of the flies grunts and breaks wind. The other fly says, ""Geez! Do you mind? I""m trying to eat over here!"""
"A businessman becomes a president Seriously this is a fucking joke"