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Joke of the Day

"[inventing dialup internet] What should it sound like when it's connecting? [guy in the back stands up confidently] Pterodactyls"

"People say I'm bad at delivering jokes... Which is why I'm not the delivery boy for Domino's anymore"

"Why did the chicken nugget cross the road? To see the chicken strip!!!"

"What do you call it when a homeless wino robs a gay man in a park late at night? A WHAM reunion."

"If Charmin had any idea where I was sticking their toilet paper, I doubt they'd spend so much time on the pretty little designs."

"My printer just woke from sleep mode with a huge toner."

"There are 70,000 Jehovah's Witnesses in Melbourne for a conference. So I'll be answering the door naked this weekend."

"if you're stuck in a group text, an easy way out is to throw your phone in the street and start a new life"

"A Priest, an alcoholic and a Paedophile, walk in to a bar. He buys a drink."

"I went to handshake someone and he basically just gripped my thumb and I'm never going to be popular"