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Joke of the Day

"How do you get an iraqi woman pregnant? Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."

"Be like Mario! Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"If you can read this please let me know because it means I blocked the wrong person."

"My 1-year-old found a jar of Play-Doh. I figured she couldn't do any harm if she couldn't open it. She threw it at her sister's head."

"You have tattoos and curves? *unbuttons pants* You're also batshit crazy? *takes off pants* You listen to Paramore? *puts on clothes*"

"Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone."

"MEDIC: ""Put pressure on the wound!"" ME: ""Hey, wound! All the cool kids are drinking and you should too!"""

"Obama: Who were you talking to before he came here for the meeting? Biden: Young Metro. Obama: Why did you call- Biden: Shhh. I got this."

"Why did roman sculptures have small penises? To get to the other side!"

"Why didn't the bicycle cross the road? ...he was two-tired..."