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Joke of the Day

"When I die I want my funeral to be closed casket but like half way thru someone opens the lid and surprise - it's a nacho bar inside"

"I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay"

"My doctor said I had an iron deficiency and I asked him how he could tell. He pointed at my crinkled shirt."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry gets to take the train back."

"Wyclef Jean has been hospitalized for fatigue and I know how he feels. I've been tired of his ass for years."

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

"Why did the kid put his clock in the oven. He wanted to have a hot time."

"How do two psychiatrists greet each other? ""You are fine, how am I?"""

"""You're not the pizza guy."" Bin Laden's last words."

"Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?"