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Joke of the Day

"Why did we skip windows 9? Because 7 8 9 I'm so sorry"

"""My wife's having a relationship with the Speaker of the House of Representatives"" ""Boehner?"" ""No, she assures me it's completely platonic."""

"elephants are scared of mice they're like 100x their size, stupid massive wimps [a wasp flies in my car and i completely drive off a bridge]"

"What did Louis say to Clark? Suck this mcdoubledaw dick nyuggahahahahaha /buh dum tiss"

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at him/her!"

"What is Hitler's favorite chocolate? Fuhrerro Rocher"

"A muslim arrives in paradise. He demands his 72 virgins but it turns out there just aren't enough women in heaven. He insists on his virgins. So he's given 72 female babies made in China."

"That's the last time I buy underwear at a yard sale. I don't want to talk about it."

"Seeing the leaves change in autumn always reminds me of my Grandpa. He died falling out of a tree too."

"I really enjoy fastening bits of metal together It's riveting"