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Joke of the Day

"I now know I'm getting old. I was watching some porn the other day and thought to myself wow that's a nice bed."

"What do you call two mexican firefighters? Hose A and Hose B."

"My parents told me I should start watching less television and read more So I turned the subtitles on"

"Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale."

"What is the fastest cake in the world? Scone."

"I'd make a wind pun But it blows.."

"What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand? Hobos"

"On the list of things I've learned today: 1. You're not allowed to walk a police dog 2. Pepper spray recovery time is 37 minutes"

"""Your teeth are like the stars"" he said As he pressed her hand so white. He spoke the truth for like the stars Her teeth came out at night!"

"Why did Hitler kill himself... ... Because he was being charged for the gas bill"