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Joke of the Day

"Worry not confederate flag supporters! You may have lost the battle... But you haven't lost the w- oh right."

"the dead are the best people to not show respect to. suck it, anonymous author of the epic of gilgamesh. I can run& breathe. your just bones"

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Subway is healthy."

"A 92 year old man I randomly met told me this one: What do you get when you cross a turkey and a cat? A pussy gobbler."

"People say, ""why buy the cow, if you get the milk for free?"" But I don't see anyone buying a car with out a test drive."

"Lions do NOT share. If you try to give them half a hoagie, they will take it, plus your half, plus your arm, plus I am inside a lion."

"Teacher: You're here to learn. Me: No bitch, I'm here because my mum wouldn't let me stay home."

"You guys know that dude Jesus? Yeah, I heard he was a real thorn in the Romans' side"

"A couple of tampons are sitting on the bathroom counter A pair of condoms walk in and one says to the other: ""I think we have an in here"" the other replies: ""nah mate, they're both stuck up cunts"""

"TIL Albert Einstein married his cousin. That's how he discovered the theory of relativity"