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Joke of the Day

"the dead are the best people to not show respect to. suck it, anonymous author of the epic of gilgamesh. I can run& breathe. your just bones"

"I told my friend she drew her eye brows on too high... She looked surprised."

"Old lady says to his hubby... ""My nipples are as hot today as they was 50 years ago"" Hubby replies,""Oughtta be. One's in your coffee the other's in your porridge."""

"My 9 day old baby keeps chanting ""put the means of production in the hands of the workers"""

"Anyone else here able to spell ""condescending narcissist"" correctly on the first try? Yeah, I didn't think so."

"I heard Reese's is doing a monkey shaped chocolate bar now.. It's called a Reese's Macaque."

"Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box."

"When Trump build a wall what would the US become? Attack on Titans..."

"I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one."

"knock knock! who's there? not trayvon martin -- that nigga dead!"