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Joke of the Day

"the dead are the best people to not show respect to. suck it, anonymous author of the epic of gilgamesh. I can run& breathe. your just bones"

"When Conor McGregor finishes in 13 seconds, everybody cheers But when I finish in 13 seconds, my girlfriend won't talk to me"

"That moment when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realize she just lost an earring... and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod."

"The shortest tribe in the world The Fuckawee tribe....In the long grass you can hear their chant...Where the Fuckawee!"

"One snowman says to the other snowman, ""do you smell carrots?"""

"My favorite clean joke: What do you do when you stub your toe? Call a toe truck."

"The ""letters to the editor"" page of your local newspaper is like Twitter for the elderly."

"I shot my first turkey today! Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section though."

"How do you call a car designed for midgets? Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out."

"Why are there no joke about Jonestown? The punchlines are too long."