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Joke of the Day

"People say, ""why buy the cow, if you get the milk for free?"" But I don't see anyone buying a car with out a test drive."

"To my fellow graduates; don't you forget about me Just something to instil into your simple minds. I am *not* proud of this."

"People don't approve when I run up to them in the street & try to make plaster casts of their faces. At least that's the impression that I get."

"I've been on this new Vodka diet. It's great, I've lost 3 days already!"

"Don't you love followers that don't acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world."

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office... ..I will find you. You have my Word. --- Edit: 1000 upvotes. Of course it would be on a self post. :( Thanks though. <3"

"Doctor: Nurse how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet."

"Yay it's payday! *pays bills That was short lived."

"Met this Muslim chick at the bar and she told me to add her as a friend on Eyebook."

"Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives? Because everyone always left them hanging!"