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Joke of the Day

"I went to a seminar on drilling methods yesterday... Boring!"

"What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew a light bulb!"

"Men go to bars for 2 reasons: 1) They don't have a wife to go home to. 2) They have a wife to go home to."

"Jesus must have had a chiseled, muscular body... I mean, he did cross fit, for God's sake. And the Bible tells us he was cut, ripped, and shredded."

"Yay! The healthcare reform bill passed! Waitress, a round of celebratory abortions for all my friends!"

"What is the wettest animal in the forest? The raindeer."

"What does a horny frog say? Rub it- rub it"

"A British man enters customs at an Australian airport. The officer asks ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The man looks confused and replies ""No, do I still need one?"""

"I was going down on a quadriplegic.... When all of a sudden I tasted horse cum and thought, ""oh Grandma.... so THAT'S how you died."""

"I'm at my sexiest when I find the grown out patch of hair on the outside of my ankle I missed with the razor the last 17 times I shaved."