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Joke of the Day

"A British man enters customs at an Australian airport. The officer asks ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The man looks confused and replies ""No, do I still need one?"""

"My boss just informed me that a birthday is not a legitimate excuse to start drinking at 8am."

"Why did Insane Clown Posse never learn about magnets? They're repulsive!"

"What's the difference between a gay man and a Christian man? One fucks an asshole, the other is a fuckin' asshole."

"I saw a train today... It seemed really angry."

"The nephew I'm babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat."

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? SNOWBALLS"

"Tommy went to his mom in the kitchen and said: 'Mom! Mom! The dog is having sex!' So mom says: 'Try not to pay attention to it, sweetheart.' to which Tommy responds: 'But it hurts so much!'"

"I went to confession and the priest said, ""pics or it didn't happen."""

"Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated"