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Joke of the Day

"I got tired of smelling soggy tacos, so I quit working at Taco Bell. Also, the food smells like shit."

"What's the difference between a feminist and incense sticks? Incense sticks make scents."

"I ran a marathon in 2011 if you add it all up probably."

"Introducing myself to new boyfriends parents: ""Hi, I usually don't make it this far."""

"This is NOT a repost."

"The best part of waking up is still mystery to me."

"My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said ""WTF man, it's 2015. You can use whatever printer you want."""

"A man walks into a bar... And is disqualified from the Limbo tournament"

"Q: Who is always your friend at school? A: Your princi-pal."

"Parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to find their kids' drugs. I couldn't do it. My kid already doesn't trust me, according to her diary."