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Joke of the Day

"This is NOT a repost."

"How do you hear a hormone? Pay $100 for 30 minutes"

"Instead of presents, give your kids ""presence."" Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever."

"Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table? Circumference"

"How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life? He found a lump on his testicle."

"I dislike the word ""kidnapping""... I prefer ""surprise adoption""."

"Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle? He always gets stuck on across."

"My life flashed before my eyes... ...Turns out I'm epileptic and died from the seizure."

"How to annoy your children: Me: Don't come in here without knocking Child: Ok *leaves* *knocks* M: Who is it? C: It's me! M: Go away"

"Why are boats named after and referred to as women like ""Ain't she magnificent"" Because they're both things you can get in and still complain"