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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If you couldn't fit all of the planets in the planetary alignment in one shot Try backing up a bit"

"A billionaire has a billion dollars. A millionaire has a million dollars. What do you call a person with ten dollars? A college student."

"I tattooed the word ""WINNER"" on my forehead in case I meet anyone new and they have any doubts"

"It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim."

"When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on."

"I wish there was a song you and your friends could sing right after you became champions"

"Why is UPS so great? They always deliver!"

"That's it! No more dick jokes! I'm only doing jokes about intellectual topics, like finance! Today the Vietnamese Dong remained firm against the Zambian Kwacha."

"A toothless termite walked into a tavern ... and said: ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around... ...because they don't know I'm using blanks."