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Joke of the Day
"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken."
Next Joke
"Why did the Pepsi Half-Time Show suck so much? Because if it was the Coke Half-Time there would have been a hologram of Tupac or the Beetles instead of Bruno Mars."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? The aristocrats."
"I like my women how I like my light bulbs... Not too bright, easy to turn on and hanging from electrical wire in my basement."
"I don't know what the big deal is. Putting my toddler to bed is easy... In fact, just tonight, I did it 25 times."
"*christopre walken givig tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unecesary pause* for walken"
"""My uncle is a dead person guy"". Me last night when I couldn't think of the word mortician"
"There is no ""ea"" in Tim."
"My phone can hold 5000 songs or 1 voicemail from my mom"
"How many r/jokes commenters does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know but that reminds me of a similar joke my uncle used to tell..."