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Joke of the Day

"If apple made a car... Would it have windows?"

"My stomach just made a really weird noise. I'm sending a pizza down to check it out."

"How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Monkeys screw in trees."

"What did the man say to the giant squid? What's kraken? JAJAJAJAJJAJJAJA"

"Why did the chicken cross the ocean? To get out-of-range of North Korea's nukes."

"In some cultures, it's considered polite to scream when someone shows you their baby. I'd be considered proper there. Probably."

"I caught a sea bass once. I wanted to mount it... But there were people watching."

"Q: Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge? A: To avoid car-pool tunnel!"

"The worst thing you could hear after orally pleasing Willie Nelson. I'm not Willie Nelson."

"Did you hear the one about the streaker who ran naked through a church? The priest caught him by the organ"