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Joke of the Day

"Cunt Jokes Q. What do you call a pink tractor? Ans: A cunt-tractor (contractor)"

"I've had to take a second job working in a bakery. I knead the dough."

"My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots."

"The new pool lifeguard was talking to his boss about his experience so far ""There's an exceptional amount of friendly people here. It's been at least seven who has waved at me."""

"A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair."

"Huge shout out to the woman that message me first... Love you, Mum!"

"DOC: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? ME: Can't say I do DOC: That's one of the symptoms, yes."

"people say they're ""over the moon"" when they're happy, but it's a lie; the moon is one of those things you will never truly get over"

"How do you know that Abraham Lincoln was Jewish? He was shot in the temple."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil."