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Joke of the Day

"people say they're ""over the moon"" when they're happy, but it's a lie; the moon is one of those things you will never truly get over"

"Sometimes I wish I was a cat just so I can constantly ignore everything said to me while licking the inside of my thigh."

"what do you call an asian supply warehouse party? A surprise party!"

"The inventor of predictive text has died His funfair is hello on sundial."

"""This is gonna be so awful, and everyone's least favorite, yet .0001 of the population will keep it in demand."" - Inventor of licorice"

"The 209 members of fifa voted on the presidency yesterday sepp blatter won in a landslide victory with 8000 votes"

"Have you watched the documentary about sponges? It's absorbing."

"Basic Instinct Star Cast in ""The Carpenters"" Biopic This summer: SHARON IS KAREN"

"Donald Trump walks into a bar and lowers it"

"What does a blueberry do at a party? The Anti-oxy-dance"