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Joke of the Day
"My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots."
Next Joke
"[packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen"
"Joke of the year. /r/politics"
"What's that thing called when your crush likes you back? oh yeah imagination"
"I bought these shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."
"Life is like a box of Chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people."
"hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. the captain can't talk cause we both said ""hope we don't die haha"" at the same time and i jinxed him"
"why do chickens cluck? ........ cause you can't say fuck with out a bottom lip."
"Sausage and bacon in a frying pan. Sausage says to the bacon: ""It's pretty hot here."" Bacon says: ""Oh my god! A talking sausage !!"""
"I sold my sole to the Devil yesterday... He was pretty pissed off when he found out it wasn't a typo."