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Joke of the Day
"My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots."
Next Joke
"Election One-Liner Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.."
"Mama said there'd be days like this, and also ""knock you out"" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk."
"Do you want to get dinner sometime? Sorry, I said that wrong. Do you want to get me dinner sometime? Like deliver food to me and then leave?"
"Arrogant Co-Worker: Do you have any idea how many years of education I have? Me: Don't feel bad, I got held back a couple of times myself."
"Why Math is like Sex?"
"Why is a doctor always calm? He got a lot of patients"
"Clean and jerk is a weight lifting term? Oh... *Tosses tissues in the trash*"
"4-year-old: Can we have Oreos for dinner? Me: Are you crazy? That'd be terrible for you. 4: Mom's not home. Me: *eats Oreos for dinner*"
"(bed bath and beyond) *walks to beds* Wow nice beds *walks to baths* Wow nice baths *walks through intergalactic wormhole* Wow nice beyond"