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Joke of the Day

"Mexican drug lords now have ig and keep posting selfies with stacks of money, mansions and yachts. I think the army... could really learn something from that recruitment campaign."

Next Joke
 
"If a vampire bites his tongue, does his tongue become a vampire? Tongpire?"
"I'm always behind the person at McDonald's who acts like they've never seen the menu in their life"
"If my next of kin takes a nap.. Can i call him Napkin?"
"They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit."
"Friend: Do I need to repeat myself? Me: No. I might not be able to ignore you a second time"
"Based on Trump's History, if elected, he is likely to get divorced and remarried while in the White House It will be ""Marriage Apprentice"" White House Edition"
"Which popstar cuts down trees? Michael LumberJackson"
"""Do you know how awkward you are?"" ""Good, you?"""
"I wish I could put my whole fucking house in the washing machine."