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Joke of the Day

"They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit."

"Donald Tump and Hilary Clinton are stranded on a Island, who do thy save first? America"

"Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants? He wanted a spare in case he had a split."

"My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it."

"TIL Thesaurus is not a dinosaur"

"Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless."

"Next month on the 13th, the date will be 13/13/13."

"What does a Turkey eat when it's hungry? An Armenian!"

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? If it was invented anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush"

"did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? he was up all night, wondering if there was a dog."