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Joke of the Day

"*Orders pizza* What a night *Phone buzzes* And a text? Killing it *checks phone* ok that was the pizza confirmation but still cruising"

"What do you call a group of people in charge of renewable energy for a town? A solar panel."

"I'm going bananas... That's what I tell the bananas when I'm leaving."

"Girls who use tanning beds either have no concept of what they actually look like or have advanced fantasies about being a waffle."

"I fired my masseur today. He just rubbed me the wrong way."

"Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome."

"What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business"

"Jesus was the only man to return from the dead and not eat brains."

"What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door? Triforce"

"Did you hear about the woman with 12 breasts? Sounds crazy, dozen tit?"