137674

Joke of the Day

"I babysat for the first time and it was just non-stop screaming. Next time I'll look before I lie down on the couch."

"Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !"

"I wish I were a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum. ""Cause how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?!"

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? They weren't born yesterday."

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ""Five beers, please"""

"My signature move is texting ""There in 5"" while I'm 80 miles away and embroiled in a Kung Fu Dance battle with an uncouth cattle farmer."

"Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking? Because it's on the house."

"Two blondes are waiting at a traffic light One says ""It's green."" The other ponders a few seconds, then replies ""A frog"""

"Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion."

"Me and my baby mama are gonna name the kid Pun It wasn't intended"