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Joke of the Day

"Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza... Guess I should've put it on aloha temperature."

"If you! Use exclamation points!! This often! I want to! Smother you!! And your enthusiasm! With a pillow!!!"

"A man calls his boss to call in sick... The boss asks him, ""How sick are you anyway?"" ""I fucked my sister! Is that sick enough for you?"""

"What happens when a lawyer becomes the leader of communities? [deleted]"

"What did the borg say to the medieval peasant? Resistance if feudal"

"""Ugh, you're so obsessed with me."" Boss: ""I just asked why you're twenty minutes late?"""

"What do you call a black man in a suit The accused"

"Clint Eastwood walks into a bar... The barman says ""What would you like?"" And Clint Eastwood says ""A Dirty Harry"""

"My girlfriend said I have a pretty penis... I replied, ""I guess you could say its the belle of the balls"" hopefully you guys enjoy this joke more than she did."

"What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches? Extra virgin oil"