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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a god. I'm a regular guy who just happens to be immortal and perfect in every way. There's a difference."

"Bungee Two friends watching Bungee Jumping. 1st friend: Do u wanna try? 2nd friend: No way! I was born bcoz a rubber broke... Don't want to die for the same reason!!!"

"Pluto wasn't even a planet for a full year on Pluto. Do you ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself."

"Instead of recommending more people to follow, Twitter should recommend that I shut this computer off & get on with my life"

"Read more Accountant jokes"

"Alligators sewing little pictures of rich white people on their shirts."

"HOT LOCAL SINGLES WANT TO MEET YOU SO THEIR FELONIOUS BOYFRIENDS CAN STEAL YOUR I-PHONE"

"I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything."

"What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's pop corn?"

"Parents: Your room is a mess. Me: You really need to see my life."