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Joke of the Day

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye, Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it."

"How do farmers party? They turnip the beets!"

"i failed a piss test at work you guys. Yeah, I made a poop instead! Hahahaha"

"Drug test Employer- we need to take your drug test to see if there are any drugs in your urine Employee- I'll pass, you won't check my nose right?"

"Who would survive if Trump and Clinton both were stranded on a island? America"

"What do you call a sassy criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"What do robots do on a one night stand? He nuts and bolts"

"The White Stripes Knock, knock! Who's there? Meg White's most complex drumbeat. --- ^(Stolen from 4chan's /mu/ board: http://redd.it/2cl0cw)"

"Accuse someone of denying everything. It's a hard one to fight."