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Joke of the Day

"A black man and a feather fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The feather. The black man is stopped by the rope."

"What do you call a plan to exterminate Hipsters? The Vinyl solution."

"Next time someone asks me a question I'm going to pull a Google & tell them my response time: ""I'd like the salad. (2.5 seconds!)"""

"What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist? Is there a dog?"

"When I lived on a houseboat I was seeing the girl next door, but eventually we drifted apart."

"Doctor I swallowed a PEN!!! Doctor, Doctor I swallowed a PEN, WHAT DO I DO? Doctor: Use a pencil..."

"Two cookies were walking across the road... ... one gets hit by a car, the other one says ""ah crumbs..."""

"Two cats cross a river... first cats name is un deux trois. The second cats name is one two three. Which cat made it across? The second cat because un deux trois cat sank."

"""Boo!"" -- cow with a cold"

"So I went to the zoo the other day... ... there was only one dog. It was a Shih tzu."