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Joke of the Day

"Why are lions more religious than other animals? They prey regularly."

"What is a fedora enthusiast's favorite cookie? M'lano"

"They say it's amazing what we can achieve if we all put our heads together But if I could put my heads together, I'd never leave my room"

"G: Grandma (completely safe watch with grandma) PG: Partial Grandma (slightly awkward) PG13: 13 or more cusses (very awkward) R: NO grandmas"

"Yo mamma so dumb... ...her offspring think 'Yo mamma' jokes are funny!"

"At church, last sunday ..., the preacher said ""Jesus died for your sins"". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted ""Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"""

"Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Voldemort. Watch for those who don't flinch when the name is called. They will be your allies."

"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: describe the suspect ""He was holding a pencil, wishing he was a real artist"" {pencil stops moving} ""And he was crying"""

"If they want to increase the use of public transit, they should start using a scale at the DMV license renewal counter."

"Wait you misunderstood. When I called you ""doll face,"" I was referring to Chucky."