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Joke of the Day
"We are in the golden age of watching videos on your phone."
Next Joke
"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"
"1990- I have three-way calling, we can all talk for hours 2015- don't even leave me a voicemail unless you are dying or I won money"
"What's worse than having your car impounded by the police? Impounding your mother"
"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? 'Cause they are freaking good at it"
"Define ""no more Twitter or I will leave you."""
"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all walk into a bar ""Ouch!"" ""Och aye!"" ""Bejabbers!"""
"Damn, baby got back. And front. And sides. Baby three-dimensional. This is a real baby."
"The difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser is depth perception."
"[OC] where did the cavemen live? Neandertown!"