39473

Joke of the Day

"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"

"You know why most americans love minions so much? Because they resemble Twinkies.."

"My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your place! Knock knock Who's there? Bak bak My chemistry prof said that one today"

"How does JokeExplainBot work? Having all that trivial information must be a big distraction..."

"Stop complaining about the length of the Hobbit movies. Plays are 17 hours long. School plays are twice that."

"If this tweet gets 5 retweets, I will threaten a public official on Facebook."

"So there's a new charity, where gay people help disabled people It's going to be called Fruits and Vegetables."

"This may sound arrogant but I think I could make a better Periodic Table."

"What's Michael J. Fox's favorite drink? a milkshake"