103139

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presedential race? The Olympic competitors are qualified."

"Thought up this joke the other day What's the difference between a deaf dog and a one night stand? The one never comes when he's called and the other never calls after he comes."

"I told my dog to sit . . . . . . but he half-assed it."

"What's the problem with an invisible penis? You never see it coming."

"People who are mad that we don't have hoverboards yet are VERY forgiving of the fact that we still have, like, racism."

"Somebody asked if I wanted some salt. I was like ""Naaaaa"""

"What's a lawyer's favorite type of cake? Torte"

"Look at me! I'm a morning person! Let's work out! Get worms! Drive garbage trucks! Use exclamation points!"

"Q: What time is bedtime at Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand."

"I'm white but I'm not ""exterminate or enslave millions of indigenous peoples then rewrite history into a bullshit heroic narrative"" white"