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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the French baker who kept burning himself on the top shelf of his oven? He had a high threshold for *pain*"

Next Joke
 
"Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race but then I remember there are grown men who like My Little Pony."
"Me: Can I have some of your candy? 3-year-old: Can I have some of your beer? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: Deal. Wife: NO!"
"Just saw a rainbow.........great now the sky is gay"
"How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb? They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation."
"Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries"
"I built a staircase using an online tutorial! When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step."
"Have you guys heard of the Ed Zachary disease? if you get the disease you'll look Ed Zachary like him!"
"What's the best thing about Sweden? I can't pick, but their flag is a huge plus."
"Anyone know someone who owns an ark? I think I Noah guy..."