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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries"

"Coworker: What's so funny M: Twitter Cw: Oh! I'm on there, what's your @ M: I meant twizzlers.. Cw: You're looking at your phone. M:..."

"Did I tell you I'm dating a midget? I'm nuts over her."

"How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox? It couldn't contain itself."

"How many population geneticists does it take to change a light bulb? It's independent of population size."

"[shipwreck diary] Day 44: Some of the survivors have resorted to drinking their own piss. Nobody wants to drink mine cos it's 'too chunky'."

"How do you spot the vegan at a party? They'll tell you."

"Bill Cosby is a lot like Freddy Kruger. They both come in your nightmares."

"What is 6.9? Great sex interrupted by a period."

"A man walks into a bar... The barman realizes something is up, and gets security to escort him out."