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Joke of the Day

"Hillary will give her concession speech... Since somebody paid her $250,000 speaking fee."

"how do you tell a joke without a punchline?"

"How very is a very good dinosaur? Very. (Thought of this idk if it was good)"

"Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic."

"My Friend Failed Astronomy... I failed too, if it's any constellation."

"Do Muslims scream Allahu Akbar when they blow their load into a goat? No, they just whisper it so the goat doesn't get startled."

"Why can't Jesus eat m&ms? they keep falling through. If you aren't offended. Swap out black Jesus and skittles. Happy Easter."

"i cant get a dog because it will give strangers an excuse to talk to me"

"did you know it takes 3 sheep to make a wool sweater? It's amazing. I didn't even know they could knit! waaaaaaka waka."

"What did the fish say when it rammed into a wall? Dam!"