51809

Joke of the Day

"In West Philadelphia born & raised/ through my anus is where I got most of my AIDS - Tom Hanks in Philadelphia'"

"What do you give Sean Connery when hes eating nachos in a bathtub? Shower Cream"

"What's worse than beating a dead horse? Shooting a live gorilla"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz? The porcupine's pricks are on the outside."

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 10% off"

"Four facts about women that prove they can do miracles. 1. They can get wet without taking a shower. 2. Bleed without being hurt. 3. Producing milk without eating grass. 4. Making boneless meat hard."

"Ever since Peter was rejected by another girl again, I feel nervous every time he enters the school building. But I'm sure he brings that gun for self-defense purpose."

"When people say ""I'm not getting any younger!"" I wonder what other basic life concepts they just learned."

"I realize I'm not good advising suicidal people I said ""hang in there!"""

"My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra."