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Joke of the Day

"did you know it takes 3 sheep to make a wool sweater? It's amazing. I didn't even know they could knit! waaaaaaka waka."

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stpehen hawking after a house fire."

"How is marriage and CPR training the same? You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again"

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them!!"

"What's the difference between a hippopotamus and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter."

"Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking? All of those guys already have boyfriends."

"My father held his temper very well.... Every time we would get mad, he would just count to 100. Then take my head out of the water."

"A woman went to the bar with a black eye. ""How'd ya get that?"" asked the bartender. ""From my husband,"" she replied. ""But I thought he was out of town?"" he asked. ""So did I!"" she said."

"Does it mean you have a small dick if you never got a toothy blow job? No it doesn't I'm asking for a friend because I've never got one"

"How to get midgets to drink your beer. Try setting the bar low."