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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo ? One is really heavy........ The others a little lighter."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."

"If your surname is Dumpty, don't name your kid Humpty. I mean, seriously."

"92 percent of Americans get inappropriately excited when there's a t-shirt cannon present."

"What's blue and sits on the toilet? A policeman doing his duty!"

"5 penises A man visits his doctor and tells him, ""You've got to help me doc. I've got 5 penises!"" To which the doctor replies, ""5 penises! How do your pants fit?"" ""Like a glove!"""

"Q. ""Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?"" A. ""Because sheep would be too obvious"""

"Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer? He's not a fan of the shingle life."

"Nothing interesting has happened today. I haven't been robbed at knifepoint. I haven't been sold into sexual slavery. I'll keep you updated."

"Why do clouds make good Kings? Because they have rain over every country in the world."