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Joke of the Day

"What happens to the cow on her period? She gets MOOOOOODY"

"Helen Keller was blind and deaf. She would still lip sync better than Mariah Carey."

"People tell me I'm too condescending. That means I talk down to them."

"I think I'm going to take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it..."

"Guys, please don't forget to wake up Green Day tonight. September is ending."

"How do you make a post man sad? Kill his family."

"Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief & suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a Wedding Cake!!"

"You haven't built just a wall around you; you've constructed a bomb shelter inside a nuclear bunker set into the side of a mountain."

"HOW TO BEAT YOUR COMPUTER AT CHESS WITHIN 5 SECONDS: just set the difficulty to OBAMA.It will never come up with a strategy."

"""Why does that guy always get all the women?"" ""I don't know...he isn't very handsome or rich"" ""And he's a terrible conversationalist - all he does is sit there licking his eyebrows"""