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Joke of the Day

"HOW TO BEAT YOUR COMPUTER AT CHESS WITHIN 5 SECONDS: just set the difficulty to OBAMA.It will never come up with a strategy."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves #2 Fuck her right in the pussy."

"With today's guilty verdict Aaron Hernandez went from a tight end to a soon to be wide receiver."

"I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling, but it's definitely up there."

"I didn't know what to wear to my premature ejaculation support meeting... So I just came in my pants."

"Bear boss: I need to see you two in my office right away. *I see my coworker is nervous* Me: Relax, how bad can it be. Salmon: Shut. Up."

"Women... are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life."

"I am proud to announce that I have developed a foundation to aid abused women It's real thick to hide the bruises"

"What do you call a Nun who is moving? Virgin Mobile...."

"So a horse walks into a bar... The bartender says: ""Why the long face?"" The horse, unable to understand English, shits on the floor and walks out of the bar."