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Joke of the Day
"People tell me I'm too condescending. That means I talk down to them."
Next Joke
"Shaved my 4 month old beard this morning My wife was upset, she said she really liked it. I told her I felt the same, it really grew on me over the last couple months."
"I always find New Year's Eve stressful. I've been diagnosed with old langxiety."
"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine-shaft? A flat minor"
"The scariest room in a haunted house would be filled with people you haven't seen since high school asking what you've been up to these days"
"Best part of cleaning the apartment is putting new magazines on the coffee table so you can look cultured for the guests you don't have over"
"""Love me do"" was written by John Lennon... After he got a really nice haircut"
"Hey websites, I will always ""skip intro"", so knock it off."
"Why are smaller breasts better for breastfeeding? They're more of a kids meal."
"What's a greater Pressure, the impact of Earth hitting the sun, the impact of Earth hitting the moon, or Republican demands for Carson and Kasich to drop out? Please discuss. Thanks."