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Joke of the Day

"How do Harry Potter fans flirt? Hey baby, mind if I *Slytherin* ? ;)"

"I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like."

"Why parents don't allow their children to listen to M. Jackson songs? because they are very touching"

"What do you do if you step on a landmine? Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area."

"CHEF CLOWN Q: How do you know if a chef is a clown? A: The food tastes funny."

"How do you deal with ignorant people? I really don't know."

"Drinking Bud Light is like having sex in a canoe... Its fucking close to water."

"What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented? There's been a ground breaking discovery..."

"My only fitness goal is to look good enough where if I ever posed naked people wouldn't see it and say, ""Wow, that's so brave of him."""

"My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown."