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Joke of the Day
"A man had a tumor shaped like a bomber plane. It was B-9."
Next Joke
"A patient wakes up from surgery and exclaims 'Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me? I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replies: Yes, well I'm afraid we had to amputate both your arms."
"Anyone who gives me flowers makes my whole day. Anyone who gives me anal makes my whole week."
"I tried to take a selfie with my grandma and she said ""you're going to have to wait until I'm in a casket"""
"What does Bob Marley wear to sleep? pa-jammins"
"You think we should see other people? I'm bipolar. I am other people."
"Stormtrooper 1: You ever think that maybe we're with the bad guys? Stormtrooper 2: Nah, lets just head back to the Death St... to the ship."
"Dead Babies I hate it when I'm driving out of my garage and my next door neighbour's son stands on my way and I run over him by accident and I have to bury him in my backyard. #FuckGrammar"
"Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels."
"I always hold my girlfriends hands Because if I let go she shops!"