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Joke of the Day
"You think we should see other people? I'm bipolar. I am other people."
Next Joke
"""Ugh! Dave is coming to dinner"" ""Wait, Dave Jones or Dave who impersonates police cars?"" [long silence] [hears faint sirens in the distance]"
"I used my rosary as a whip today... Call me Indiana Joan of Arc"
"Why is PC the mustard race? Because consoles can't ketchup."
"Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell ""Thank You ""just to leave them hanging."
"Dragon. Knock Knock? Who's there? Dragon. Dragon who? I was dragon my balls across your mom's face last night."
"Thought of a '2 guys walk into a bar' joke A gay guy and Sam Adams walk into a bar. The gay guy drank some Sam Adams. But only Sam Adams had alcohol that night."
"[Texts to 14] Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey [Reply] OMG DAD WAT? [Text] Hi"
"So I Saw A Fireman Smoking Outside The Station and I thought, 'I wonder how many cigarettes are started by fires?'"
"They should make an iPad with a fold-open keyboard that can sit on your lap."