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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of having to pick up women's jaws after I walk into rooms."

"What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Nobody eats parsley."

"If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool."

"I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?"

"Why'd the ISIS fighter bring his son to the execution? Like all fathers, he wanted his son to get ahead."

"Compliment somebody on their moustache and all of a sudden she is not your friend anymore."

"A Little evidence and inconclusive test findings is not good enough for scientist... But a little evidence and inconclusive test findings is pretty good measurement for scientist."

"I'm attracted to fat chicks... ...by the force of gravity"

"Gabriel ""Really? That's how you want humans to reproduce?"" God ""Trust me. It will be hilarious."""

"What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote? **""There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.""**"