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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the shortest book ever written? A: French War Heroes."

"How many engineers do you need to change a lightbulb ? You can take as many as you want but they will only give you the screwing direction."

"At this point my body would probably mistake a vegetable for a virus and try to attack it."

"few things sound worse than getting smurfed in 3D"

"I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said ""No!"". For one thing, we don't have any kids..."

"Psssst. Hey you, Yeah you...Facebook parent. Your kid looks the same as it did 8 minutes ago. When you posted the other 45 pics. We get it"

"What's the difference between Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons? One porks women the other un-porks them."

"I keep having this reoccurring dream Every night I dream I'm constantly changing between being a teepee and a wigwam. I went to the doctor and he told me ""Calm down kid, you're two tents.""."

"What does a homeless man gets for Christmas? A cold."

"Really wanted the day off, so I texted my boss... ""What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"" I'm not coming in this morning. (I got some time off now)"