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Joke of the Day
"At this point my body would probably mistake a vegetable for a virus and try to attack it."
Next Joke
"A programmer heads to the shops His wife says ""grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen"" He comes home with twelve loaves of bread."
"dumbledore: our enchanted ceiling shows us wat the sky outside looks like mcgonagall: so...a magic glass ceiling dumbledore: [starts sweating]"
"Why can't Pakistanis play soccer? Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store"
"Why did the emoji fly to Syria? It wanted to become an Emojihad!"
"Who was the fattest Renaissance painter? Donutello * I love pun jokes give me some more"
"Why does Hillary Clinton want to have sex with Bill first thing in the morning? She wants to be the first lady."
"[creating foxes] GOD: make it orange & give it a fat tail ANGEL: ok... GOD: and make it sneaky ANGEL: you sure? GOD: yeah... real sneaky"
"If you receive an e-mail that says: ''FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS'' Don't open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets."
"I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail."