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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons? One porks women the other un-porks them."

"What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies? A Killergran."

"Classic Why'd the mushroom go to the party? Cause he's a fungi! Why'd the fungi leave the party? Cause there wasn't mushroom!"

"Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed? Does any of this really matter..."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar Then a chair, then a table."

"What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine? They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen."

"[Therapist's office] Husband: She takes everything, literally T: What do you mean? *Me walking out the door w/ the floor lamp I'm stealing*"

"I went to the shop to buy eight legs of venison... But it was two deer."

"What do you call a blind person who can't find his/her glasses? Eyeronic."

"Why do Americans hate knock knock jokes? Because Freedom Rings."